change of plans

P90X just does not work in my current space… I really gave it a good try and I wish I could go through with it. SO I am currently developing a new fitness plan that will inevitably have to include a gym. I really hate having to rely on going to a gym but I think this whole process has really motivated me to start SOMETHING.

Changing my diet starts today. I was doing great for like two days, I thought I would ease into the whole P90X diet and then I kinda gave in… or a lot gave in… to the tune of about 3 pounds!! I am now 193.5 lbs as of this morning. I think today it hit me that I am seriously just a couple of pounds away from 200 pounds! And coming from someone that always thought of themselves as in shape and at times too skinny; this is crazy. Saying I gained 20 pounds in college is one thing; but saying you gained 40 pounds; that’s a whole other story! It scary to think how fast I gained nearly 4 pounds just by letting myself go for not even two weeks. I think what got me going was that last night I actually ripped a pair of boxers carrying some stuff!! No joke!! It’s scary that they were a size medium and that I desperately need size large in just about everything, and that there are size smalls hanging around in my closet that I wore not too long ago. At this point, everything is too tight!

I have basically just pigged out over the last week thinking I was gonna make a fresh start the next day; a horrible cycle. I have never had to eat healthy before and this is going to involve getting rid of a lot of bad habits. And I will be joining a gym this weekend; for my underwear’s sake.

fell off the wagon… alrdy

OK… so I fell off the wagon. I caved. I know, I know, it was only after the first day. I was so unprepared to start this journey, especially on the diet front. I’ve been really trying for the last few weeks to control my diet. However, that “last meal” I had before Day 01 of P90X opened up a whole can of worms! I’ve really gotta stay away from alcohol these next few weeks… I am restarting P90X monday… Here is some of the damage; maybe this will provide the embarrassment I need to get the  f*ck! moving!

Starting weight :-/

After last night’s embarrassment, I got my new scale out this AM and took my starting weight. My friend’s was correct: 190 pounds is my starting weight. This means that I gained a good 25 pounds since earlier this year. F*ck!! And probably around 35 pounds since I started college. I know I have gained some muscle through small lifting spurts (I was a runner in highschool and pretty skinny) but damn! I’m not sure what I want my goal weight to be… 190 lbs would be great if it was all muscle. But I’m a ways away from there! I think my goal is going to be more appearance based. I don’t care what the scale says as long as I keep seeing changes; and I can fit back into a respectable sized pair of jeans. I will take some measurements today as well as the dreaded embarrassing before pics. And then… Workout #1!

Elastic Waist Bands

The cool thing about college is that pants with elastic waistbands are almost always acceptable attire every day of the week. And when you make this fact a daily practice, your jeans and other non-elastic pants seem to have a way of making it into the back of your closet. However, there eventually comes a time when a pair of comfy sweatpants just won’t cut it. Coincidentally, that day for me has arrived. I was doing laundry today and thought I’d pull out my jeans just to be safe and try them on. — Let’s just say I could have made a very sizable donation to the Goodwill. Yes, not one pair of my size 32 or 33 jeans fit over this fat @ss!! The shorts I bought this summer, a more comfortable 33, (hey my summers are a little lazy!) were upon my inspection much larger than any pair of my jeans. My jeans must have shrunk a little the last time I washed them, I thought.

So, I added jeans to my shopping list for today (yes along with a scale!). I only need one pair I told myself. Just a generous size 33 or possibly a 34 to get me by until P90X starts working it’s magic. Imagine my surprise when I try on several pairs of “relaxed fit” size 34’s and none of them fit!! Literally could barely get the button fastened. So, with no more options left, I sucked up my pride (and sucked in my gut) and squeezed into a pair of SIZE 36 jeans!! I seriously can’t believe that I was easily getting into 32’s earlier this year. So I waddled up to the register and purchased my first & LAST pair of size 36 pants I will ever own! Shame! (And yes I took a picture of me in these jeans in hopes that the embarrassment will add to my motivation. Literally, after looking at the picture I can’t believe how fat I look!! P90X starts tomorrow!!)

Holy $hit!!

So I just weighed myself at a friends house…. 189 lbs!!! Hope that is not right.

P90X?

So why P90X? I’ve never tried a infomercial exercise program before; always thought they were too gimmicky. But I’m thinking P90X might get me back into shape. No gym is required yet it is still a challenging workout. I went out and got the equipment last week. For now, I’m just using a pull-up bar and bands, but if I stick with it I will totally invest in some free-weights. I haven’t been to the gym in so long and my diet has gotten a little off track. Ok a lot off track lol. I think tonight will be a “last meal” of sorts for me 😦
I’m hoping to start tomorrow; the sooner the better cuz I have been feeling fat and out of shape lately. I definitely put on a couple of pounds I think since I was working out regularly. I’m gonna go out and get a scale tonight and do the before pics and measurements. Tomorrow I’m gonna BRING IT!!!